My cousin took this photo at airport, right before we were leaving Iran. Whenever I look at this photo, my heart aches. I can’t help my tears. My dad holding me tight crying, my son crying because he is uncomfortable and I am crying because I am my dads daughter.
My dad is the most emotional person I have ever met. He was sometimes angry but he is the main reason I am a feminist. He would always push me to be successful. He would teach me how to work with tools. He really wanted me to be a doctor but he gave up at some point.
I have called this photo ugly truth of immigration. People who move from their homeland, have to put so much into consideration. I was sure I want to move but I miss my family a lot.
Just finished listening to the book “The Apology” By Eve Ensler. A wonderful book which made me come back here and write. Because, I needed to share this.
Everyday I try to take walks for 30 to 45 minutes. I listened to this book for four to five days. In this book Eve writes about the Apology she wanted from her father, which abused her. When I was listening to this book, I found my self saying fuck you fuck you fuck you, no no no. And I am just a listener not the author, not the person who has been through all these abuse physical and emotional. It takes so much courage to write such a wonderful book.
As a woman we have faced so many abuses either physical or emotional. So many of them from close family and friends. Why should this be the norm? why should from every five girl one has experienced sexual abuse. Why aren’t we thinking of how much things would’ve healed if men in the society learned to respect woman. Just why?
The audible had a short exclusive talk with the author which in that she mentions if people learned to apology. how different things would’ve been? She talks about the history of indigenous people and how they have been hurt, and they never heard an apology. So we better learn to say Sorry, it’s been long enough!
The biggest message for me was that if my soul knows something is wrong and I don’t have the power to look at the person I hurt and tell them I am sorry, I better not do that.
I try not to spoil the book, you need to read the book and watch your feelings as they rise!
These past few days I have been noticing bees in our backyards concrete. Taking their last breath. They walk slowly, i offer them mix of honey and water or sugar and water, it helps some of them but not all of them. I pick them flowers from our backyard. And I cry with them taking their last breath.
Please stop using any pesticides, there is no such a thing as safe pesticide. Our hardworking bees are dying.
Let’s start with the fact that I love love love what I am studying, I am a grad student of environmental studies. It is my second semester. Me and my adviser came up with my research questions. and Now I am in the process of literature review. (All shiny and pretty)
That’s not all, I have three courses that I need to attend and their homework’s and assignments are another story. It is so much that I can’t do work for my thesis.
If you think I am done, OH No! I have a family. An Eight year old son.
I am very stressed these days, I have forgot to be present and I am very close to crying every moment. I am present with me not being present. Does that even make sense? sometimes I put 5 minute to meditate and that’s all.
I just want to scream please help. I need help with planning.
So every Grad student out there, you are not alone! I hear you!
Mother earth and environment is very important to me and I always believe even if we can change one kids opinion on taking care of the nature, We have done a good job. Last month I ran an environmental awareness activity with the help of Fun Zone at Van Meter School. The way kids discussed different causes was amazing. It made me really proud.
I also like to thank all the volunteer parents who helped and were part of this awareness. I couldn’t have done it without their help. Also, I really hope that kids learned about how oceans are getting dirty, how rain-forests are earths lungs and how we have endangered species.
Unfortunately, I forgot to take more photos and these two photos were taken on the last day.