Nick’s drawing

Nick: mom can I draw you?

Me: sure

Nick: mom, you need to sit still.

Me: do you want to draw daddy, he is better at sitting still.

Nick: I will draw him later.

15 minutes of trying to sit still turned into the portray below.


I don’t know if I am saying this because I am a mom or what. But, I am so proud of my eight year old son. I like all the detail.

Also, at the end he told me mom you look like a boy. 😂

Here is a drawing of his dad as well.


Just love them,

As always,



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Whenever I am studying, for my break, I like to take photos. Maybe at the end I will send them to my advisor as a proof that I am working.

Two days ago I took this photo which totally describes how I am feeling now. I look into my eyes, and I see life. But, oh there is always but!

Writing my proposal!

I have lotsssss of questions in my head, and I have the answers too! This thing that you know the answers by heart is so true, at least for me!



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Couple of monthes ago I wrote: I won’t stop caring, even when it hurts! But, I will take a deep breath or maybe two!

I need to breath more, and keep caring, true sometimes it hurts, but most of the time it doesn’t!



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At some point in our life we know what we want to do, or why are we here. For me it was around 24 years old, that I told myself I am here to be the voice for unrepresented beings. But, I didn’t do much about it, just a little things, helping out once in a while. It’s true it is very satisfying to spread love and kindness but every time I tell myself I need to do more. I need to do some work that maybe changes some policies, some work that is DEEP. And, by heart I believe I will (Hopefully).

Sometimes when I talk to my friends about these things, the reaction in their faces are amazing! 😀 I tell them I have no idea how this system works and in my opinion this is actually a blessing because I don’t have to freak out about it. I am learning along the way.

But, how serious I am to achieve this goal? The answer is easily noticeable when I see how much effort I put in my journey through that goal. And so far I am seriously struggling in writing section. It’s funny as someone who loves to write (from heart) I am having such a hard time keeping myself motivated for academic writing. I have decided to put three hours of 50 minutes writing 10 minutes relaxing in my daily schedule from today. Maybe scheduling can help me more.

Working on my proposal!

I know soon this part will pass as well, but till that day I need to find how I will learn to keep myself motivated. All suggestions regarding academic writing is appreciated!

At the end, It’s the journey I am going to remember!



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Bees are here!

I remember when I was 8 years old, I was playing by a pond and shaking my hand. At one moment I felt this massive pain in my hand, I checked my fingers and yes a bee just stung my finger. No amount of cry would calm me down. It was super painful. After that incident I was a little scared of bees, I would always keep my distance or literally run from them. Till two or three years ago, I kept learning more and more about them, and how dead bees kept showing up in our backyard. You always hear about them in news but never truly understand how bad things are until you kind of experience and see dead honeybees everywhere. They are super important for nature, remember Bee Movie. 😀

bees are back

Yesterday, as I was looking at these sunflowers, I noticed bees around it. It made me happy. That’s why I wanted to write about it, and share my happiness.

If you have a backyard please make sure, you plant lots of flowers for bees, hummingbirds and butterflies. Looking at flowers and seeing hummingbirds is so refreshing.

Hopefully after reading this you will become more passionate toward bees.

As always,



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I have noticed how easily certain things become a habit. They can be very interesting. For example:

1- Walking and sometimes running is a wonderful habit. Walking in beautiful scenic areas, filled with trees, people passing by, crows following you, freaking out when you suddenly hear a dog barking. All so wonderful! I don’t know if I will keep walking in winter, I am usually cold, so in winter it gets a little hard. I just realized since I have started to work out, I am warmer than usual. Also, walking calms me down and it’s been 1.5 month of “almost” daily walking. Yesss!

Walking at beautiful Maui!

2- I dont know if coffee and tea are my habits or I like the ceremonial factor of it. Pouring my coffee, sitting on a sofa comfortably. looking far at mountains, chatting with a dear friend, shaping clay, working on my projects, or watching TV.

Working on my proposal with a bottle of coffee:D
Coloring my clay work with a cup of tea!

3- Meditation has become a wonderful habit, meditation for me was an on and off practice. But, with headspace I have been meditating daily (I love how WordPress wants to correct headspace to headache:D). Meditation is my way of being at peace with what it is. It has been one month anniversary of doing daily meditation!

4- Ohh this habit—> checking my apps without thinking, I have a tendency to get drown into technology. I easily find myself clicking on apps and checking them so many times without thinking or presence. At some point I ask myself why am I in Facebook, or why I am checking this chatting app?! For this habit I have been in practice for years :))

What I have noticed, that helps me with not clicking on apps, is bringing my presence into my actions. For example, I take a deep breath when I hold my cellphone and I tell myself I just need to check this specific thing not every app. What makes it hard is that connections are mostly through our cellphones, to answer emails to talk to my parents, almost everything is through this small box.

I guess the combination of two wonderful book “power of habits” by Charles Duhigg and “power of now” by Eckhart Tolle can be a great help.

And now that I am thinking, I need to bring the habit of sitting in one place and writing and finishing my proposal. Ohhh, that is so not fun!!! 😀

As always,

Spread love, Hug a tree,


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“If we do not grieve for what we miss, we do not praise what we love” Martin Prechtel If you don’t grieve it means it didn’t have a meaning for you from the beginning.

Today, I was talking to a friend about my recent writing “Pain”, and all the questions I had regarding pain. She told me why don’t you honor your grieve. Till that moment I never though of pain as grieve. She said you are missing things and It is okay. Grieve is part of acknowledging the pain, so you can say “pain I see you”.

I am a super grateful person, for so many things. For example, having the worlds best friends in my life. My friends are truly the best and I appreciate each and everyone of them. I have a deep connection with nature, that is another thing that I am super grateful for, my family, prosperity, health… This list can go on forever. Being grateful is one of the reasons I don’t acknowledge my pains. But what comes to me now is how about being grateful for my pains as well. It means I am alive, I am feeling, I am freaking crying. As Martin Prechtel said make sure you grieve the way you look ugly after.

Also, today I saw tree of life in so many places, and I kept asking what do you want to tell me. The best part I got a tree of life bracelet as a gift today. I probably will know the reason when its time.

So, I am gonna be grateful for pains and tree of life.



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